Last Night we had a concert presented by two of my best voice students and my friend Bonnie, who is a wonderful accompanist. We set up our double parlor to accommodate thirty people. We had the piano tuned. My students worked very hard on a program of Mozart concert arias, Russian and French songs, and duets by Brahms. It was a beautiful night with no belting rain or high winds. And it all went fabulously….with an invited musical audience of friends and families of the performers, as well as some of mine and Rudy’s friends. Rudy connected with a guy he hadn’t seen for twenty-five years, I met the husband of another student (and neighbor) with whom I’ve spoken on the phone for years but never met before, my granddaughter Heidi met some young people her own age. In short, a good time was had by all.
When I do these concerts, I always include food afterwards. It’s a big house, with lots of room, and a kitchen which (as it turns out) accommodates thirty people. There’s some preparation involved, which got me to thinking about the nature of parties.
The truth is, I don’t usually much like parties with that many people, unless it’s in my own house, or all people that I know well. The first problem is the noise level. I don’t hear enough with a lot of noise going on around me when I’m trying to have a conversation with someone, or I hear too much. Music in the background only makes this much worse. And then there are the people. They are probably amazing fascinating people whom I really ought to meet, but I don’t know how to go about it. Or, really, I know how but I don’t want to. I have a friend who is an Episcopal priest, who always seems to know how to talk to people and get them to talk to her, who once told me that she’s really very shy and hates walking into a roomful of people, but knows that she must, so she goes ahead and does what she knows how to do. But she faces the same feeling every time. It’s like the fifteen minutes (or half, hour, or hour, or day) before a performance when one thinks “what am I doing?” (My nightmare is that I’m onstage in an opera and suddenly realize that I’m in an opera that I’ve never even heard and have to make everything up).
The concert/party events at our home really do get everyone talking to everyone else, and we’ve got the whole thing down to a science, and I will tell you how. There is a caveat however….you’ve got to have enough space so that people can either hang out together with drinks and talk, or sit down with their food somewhere besides where it’s being served, and there’s somewhere they could go to get away from the noise of a lot of people talking all at once. That would probably be a large living room, another room where people could go, and a small place for intimate conversation. A large kitchen is not required, though it makes things easier. If you do not have these conditions do not, I repeat, do not try this out at home. Instead, you could give a dinner party for six, with five familiar people and one fascinating stranger, which is God’s great gift to the world after creation…and I will tell you how to do that another day.
It’s a good idea to plan the party when you have some time free the day of, though with good planning you can do it without the extra time. It’s also a very good idea to be able to have the next day off.
What you do is this, and in the order given:
First you enlist a helper. Granddaughter (or son) is best, followed by: daughter, husband, roommate, friend, someone off the street…you must have a helper. If you think you can skip this part and do it all yourself, you are a true masochist and need to get some counseling.
Next ( a couple of days in advance, before you’re feeling desparate) you go to someplace like Trader Joe’s which will have everything you need. For thirty people you get:
3 boxes stoned wheat thins, or whatever crackers you like
6 packages of cheese, or 3 wheels of cheese
a lot of grapes
3 containers of paté (get some you like in case you have leftovers)
8 bottles of wine(red and white) six bottles sparking soda (I like grapefruit, blood orange, exotic stuff like that)
good bakery stuff, if you don’t bake yourself If you do bake, get whatever you need
A potted plant, nothing expensive, maybe a mum, or a poinsettia if it’s Christmas, or some daffodils if it’s February.
If you don’t have 30 wineglasses, plates and silverware, you’ll need to go to a party store, or someplace like IKEA and get plastic wineglasses, pretty paper napkins, plain paper plates, plastic forks and maybe some plastic knives (there are recyclable ones around, I hope you’ll get those). If you do have all this stuff in glass and china and silver, you probably have a dishwasher….even if you don’t, you’ve got your helper.
If you bake, make a sheet cake and some brownies, or cookies. You can do this a day or two ahead. If you’re really feeling ambitious, you can make some scones the afternoon of the party (I really love the King Arthur scone mixes), but you don’t really need to do this. Also, a day or two ahead, clean your house up reasonably. This could be anything from a cleaning service to just getting the books and magazines off the tables and chairs. (I bribe Dina to come the day the event of instead of her regular day, thank God for her)! If you have to do the cleaning yourself, I recommend having the party at night, with dim atmospheric lighting. But do be sure the bathroom or rooms are really clean with plenty of toilet paper and soap and towels. Also be sure that the table, or counters, or whatever you’re going to serve the food on are cleared off.
In the morning, put a pretty tablecloth, or piece of material on your table. Get out all of your candlesticks, or votives and arrange them so that you like the way it all looks. Put your napkins and serving pieces on the table as well as your plant. Arrange the utensils in cups or other containers. Put the wine bottles on a tray, or trays, with the glasses. Find the bottle opener. Put the white wine and the cold drinks in the fridge. Make ice if you’ll need it. If you can persuade your helper to come early, get him or her to help. If you baked the night before, they can wash the dishes. If you’re planning to make scones, do it in the afternoon, and get your helper to wash the dishes, or do a load in the dishwasher.
Take a nap. Get your nails done. Have a bubble bath. Do what you need to do to look as fabulous as possible. Look around and get the cat beds and water dishes out of the way. You and your helper can now put out the cheese and crackers and paté and grapes and whatever other goodies you’ve acquired. Light the candles and dim the lights. Let your friends in the door and have a ball! Do not start cleaning up until everyone is gone (except your helper, to whom you now owe some major favors). Put away all the lovely leftovers to eat whenever you like in the next few days. Try to wash up anything encrusted with anything before you go to bed so that you don’t have to use paint remover in the morning to get it off.
Having a crash day the next day is very helpful. I like to eat a breakfast with any leftover scones and do the crossword, and later knit and nap, or read a good book, or take a walk.
If you’re the type who keeps track of repaying your social obligations, you’ve probably done it, and don’t need to do anything similar for a good long time. If like me, you only really like your own parties (with some notable exceptions), maybe you’d like to do more just for the love of it.
When I do these concerts, I always include food afterwards. It’s a big house, with lots of room, and a kitchen which (as it turns out) accommodates thirty people. There’s some preparation involved, which got me to thinking about the nature of parties.
The truth is, I don’t usually much like parties with that many people, unless it’s in my own house, or all people that I know well. The first problem is the noise level. I don’t hear enough with a lot of noise going on around me when I’m trying to have a conversation with someone, or I hear too much. Music in the background only makes this much worse. And then there are the people. They are probably amazing fascinating people whom I really ought to meet, but I don’t know how to go about it. Or, really, I know how but I don’t want to. I have a friend who is an Episcopal priest, who always seems to know how to talk to people and get them to talk to her, who once told me that she’s really very shy and hates walking into a roomful of people, but knows that she must, so she goes ahead and does what she knows how to do. But she faces the same feeling every time. It’s like the fifteen minutes (or half, hour, or hour, or day) before a performance when one thinks “what am I doing?” (My nightmare is that I’m onstage in an opera and suddenly realize that I’m in an opera that I’ve never even heard and have to make everything up).
The concert/party events at our home really do get everyone talking to everyone else, and we’ve got the whole thing down to a science, and I will tell you how. There is a caveat however….you’ve got to have enough space so that people can either hang out together with drinks and talk, or sit down with their food somewhere besides where it’s being served, and there’s somewhere they could go to get away from the noise of a lot of people talking all at once. That would probably be a large living room, another room where people could go, and a small place for intimate conversation. A large kitchen is not required, though it makes things easier. If you do not have these conditions do not, I repeat, do not try this out at home. Instead, you could give a dinner party for six, with five familiar people and one fascinating stranger, which is God’s great gift to the world after creation…and I will tell you how to do that another day.
It’s a good idea to plan the party when you have some time free the day of, though with good planning you can do it without the extra time. It’s also a very good idea to be able to have the next day off.
What you do is this, and in the order given:
First you enlist a helper. Granddaughter (or son) is best, followed by: daughter, husband, roommate, friend, someone off the street…you must have a helper. If you think you can skip this part and do it all yourself, you are a true masochist and need to get some counseling.
Next ( a couple of days in advance, before you’re feeling desparate) you go to someplace like Trader Joe’s which will have everything you need. For thirty people you get:
3 boxes stoned wheat thins, or whatever crackers you like
6 packages of cheese, or 3 wheels of cheese
a lot of grapes
3 containers of paté (get some you like in case you have leftovers)
8 bottles of wine(red and white) six bottles sparking soda (I like grapefruit, blood orange, exotic stuff like that)
good bakery stuff, if you don’t bake yourself If you do bake, get whatever you need
A potted plant, nothing expensive, maybe a mum, or a poinsettia if it’s Christmas, or some daffodils if it’s February.
If you don’t have 30 wineglasses, plates and silverware, you’ll need to go to a party store, or someplace like IKEA and get plastic wineglasses, pretty paper napkins, plain paper plates, plastic forks and maybe some plastic knives (there are recyclable ones around, I hope you’ll get those). If you do have all this stuff in glass and china and silver, you probably have a dishwasher….even if you don’t, you’ve got your helper.
If you bake, make a sheet cake and some brownies, or cookies. You can do this a day or two ahead. If you’re really feeling ambitious, you can make some scones the afternoon of the party (I really love the King Arthur scone mixes), but you don’t really need to do this. Also, a day or two ahead, clean your house up reasonably. This could be anything from a cleaning service to just getting the books and magazines off the tables and chairs. (I bribe Dina to come the day the event of instead of her regular day, thank God for her)! If you have to do the cleaning yourself, I recommend having the party at night, with dim atmospheric lighting. But do be sure the bathroom or rooms are really clean with plenty of toilet paper and soap and towels. Also be sure that the table, or counters, or whatever you’re going to serve the food on are cleared off.
In the morning, put a pretty tablecloth, or piece of material on your table. Get out all of your candlesticks, or votives and arrange them so that you like the way it all looks. Put your napkins and serving pieces on the table as well as your plant. Arrange the utensils in cups or other containers. Put the wine bottles on a tray, or trays, with the glasses. Find the bottle opener. Put the white wine and the cold drinks in the fridge. Make ice if you’ll need it. If you can persuade your helper to come early, get him or her to help. If you baked the night before, they can wash the dishes. If you’re planning to make scones, do it in the afternoon, and get your helper to wash the dishes, or do a load in the dishwasher.
Take a nap. Get your nails done. Have a bubble bath. Do what you need to do to look as fabulous as possible. Look around and get the cat beds and water dishes out of the way. You and your helper can now put out the cheese and crackers and paté and grapes and whatever other goodies you’ve acquired. Light the candles and dim the lights. Let your friends in the door and have a ball! Do not start cleaning up until everyone is gone (except your helper, to whom you now owe some major favors). Put away all the lovely leftovers to eat whenever you like in the next few days. Try to wash up anything encrusted with anything before you go to bed so that you don’t have to use paint remover in the morning to get it off.
Having a crash day the next day is very helpful. I like to eat a breakfast with any leftover scones and do the crossword, and later knit and nap, or read a good book, or take a walk.
If you’re the type who keeps track of repaying your social obligations, you’ve probably done it, and don’t need to do anything similar for a good long time. If like me, you only really like your own parties (with some notable exceptions), maybe you’d like to do more just for the love of it.
This so brings back memories of coming to your house for classes and coachings! I do so miss those days which were not so long ago. I hope you and Rudy had a wonderful Thanksgiving and hope to see you in the new year! All the best, Sarah Bach
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